Now that the holidays are over, it is time
to sit back, relax and contemplate. I had a particularly hectic fortnight, with
relentless pressure and stress at work, two holiday meals to cook and no time
to even write and send my Season’s Greetings or post on this blog, for that matter. Although I had already bought the
cards and the stamps during the first week of December, I never got round to
writing and posting them. But I promise to do so today …
Fancy finger food by Heston Blumenthal, Britain's top chef,
bought at Stonemanor.
Our special treat on Christmas Day.
The Pine Sugar Dusting was really amazing.
bought at Stonemanor.
Our special treat on Christmas Day.
The Pine Sugar Dusting was really amazing.
Anyone familiar with this?
I’m ashamed to write this (but I need to get it off my chest), but on December
20th, my last day at work before the holidays, I had a ‘mini-tiny-miniscule’
nervous breakdown at work. The pressure to launch a new product on January 2nd
– today – suddenly became too much. I had been keeping up a bright and cheery
face for the last three weeks, and was even jokingly trying to find a solution
with my manager in an attempt to come up with a feasible solution that would
satisfy all concerned, without actually working myself into a coma, when the
telephone call came in.
I was urged to get the show on the road
before January 2nd, whatever it took, even if it meant writing the
necessary texts on Christmas Eve. I hung up the phone, and – this is so
embarrassing – started to cry like a five-year-old who had just learnt that
Santa Claus wasn’t coming to town this year. Actually, I don’t know who was
more embarrassed, my manager, my colleagues or me. I’m sure the person who gave
me the call wasn’t aware of the ‘damage’ she had caused.
To make a long story short, I was allowed
to go home (it was only 11 a.m. and finish what I had been doing at home). I
have been at home ever since. Mind you, I’m not on sick leave. I had planned
this vacation in advance, with just two days in between to assure the follow-up
of the project. But I was given permission to work from home – tele-working
they call it here (still a very rare phenomenon in Belgium). I spent the best
part of Dec. 20th. and 21st doing exactly that. And then
I shut down my laptop and tried to enjoy the last days before Christmas.
I managed to put a more than decent
Christmas dinner together: honey-glazed grilled goat’s cheese (a Crottin
Chavignol from the southern Loire region), followed by guinea fowl stuffed with
foie gras and cranberries, steamed baby potatoes and apples braised in white
wine, stuffed with black currant jelly. Dessert was a traditional Christmas log
(bûche de Noël), by our excellent local ‘pâtissier’.
On Dec. 27th, I worked for the
best part of the day … noticing that fewer and fewer people were available at
the office to give me the necessary feedback. I closed my laptop again and left
it untouched till Dec. 31st. I had managed to finish the most
important part of the project. When I sent it out at around 3 p.m. I got over
50 ‘out of office’ (out of a 100 or so) messages, with an extra comment, ‘will be back on January 7th’.
Proof that this was really the information everybody had been waiting for …
After getting this encouraging feedback, I ‘retired’
to my kitchen to prepare New Year’s Day lunch. My mother would take care of the
starter, so all I had to do was to cook the ‘baby cockerels in a tarragon and
white wine sauce’. Dessert would be store-bought profiteroles. Despite my mental
exhaustion and limited interest in cooking matters, the cockerels were a big
success, and so was our New Year’s meal. I don’t think my mother noticed any of
the things that had been going on ‘backstage’. She’s really getting on in years
now – she’ll be 85 in August – and worries a lot. So I don’t want to stress her
even more, because she’s very concerned about my professional health and
future.
I’ll be working from home again tomorrow,
and on Monday I’m going back to the office. So I’m going to relax some more
today, trying not to think about work … and maybe enjoy a fine English
detective series on television: Midsummer Murders, Morse, A touch of Frost … or
maybe Keeping up Appearances …
Oh no, I can’t! I have to write my ‘Christmas’
Cards first …
P.S. Sorry to bother you with this. I
promise never to write about work again in 2013. Well, I promise I will try! :)
14 comments:
Poor you! What a way to finish off the year. The insensitivity of people still astounds me. Your festive season meals sound absolutely delicious! I hope your colleagues will appreciate the work commitment you have to your position. Louise
knowing you, you are probably the most conscientious woker at the company. i hope the folks that needed the information "yesterday" were at the office when you sent them the information. be mindful of your heath. venting on the blog probably made you feel better as evident by the fantastic meals you prepared.
Sounds like you gave yourself a bit of a fright. Hopefully your boss will have had a bit of a fright too and be open to some discussion about how to relieve your stress in a meaningful way long term.
I was sure you were very busy, mostly at work. I commend you for posting from time to time under these conditions. Best wishes, Martine.
Martine, you deserve a long nap today, some TV time, good food, tea or coffee, whatever it takes to relax you. The Christmas cards can wait.
I always think if somebody is stressed at work that from time to time they should somehow let people around them know they have a heavy workload (which you found a way to do). Otherwise the higher-ups have no idea how much pressure they are putting on people.
Your company is lucky to have somebody working for them as responsible and dedicated as you. You can tell them I said so!
Martine, there is no reason to feel ashamed !! We all have our limits and some employers push their staff right to the limit far too often.
Christmas is a stressful time, so much to do and get ready for the big day and if you are up to your neck in it at work.....there's no wonder you found it all too much.
I hope your managers take note and realise that they can't put you under so much stress at this time of year. If you had become too ill to work and taken sick leave, would the work have got done at all? No job is worth becoming ill for.
I had a feeling something was not right - now I wish I had contacted you!
Hi Martine,
I'm glad that you have been able to tell your friends about your stressful time at work.
Part of being an effective manager is to be able to recognise when your workers are being put under undue pressure, and then to DO SOMETHING to alleviate this pressure. It seems that your managers have let you down.
These days everyone expects to work hard, but this is very different to working too hard and becoming ill in the process.
Take care, Martine. Your friends do care about your wellbeing.x
I'm sorry you've had such a stressful time Martine. I agree with Jean, there is far too much unreasonable expectation. What speaks volumes is that most of your colleagues are not back at work until 7th January. Try to relax yourself until then and there's a chance you will be restored to get back to it when the reat of them return to work.
Veronica
Sorry to hear this. I did wonder why it had gone quiet.
You shouldn't feel even the tiniest bit ashamed. The run-up to Christmas is stressful enough with out the additional pressures your work put you under. Take care of yourself and hopefully your manager will also have had food for thought as to how to help you manage the stress longer term.
Take care :-)
Happy new Year Martine. Do not be ashamed at all , why do companies put so much pressure on people , and especially to get something important launched by 2nd january. I hope that you are a little stress free now. I hope they have a re-think of their strategies ..
Take care x
I am so sorry Martine! We are all supposed to enjoy this time of the year and your manager ruined it.
I hope you are better now and everything will be fine next monday. Do you think you will get an apology? I sure hope so.
Martine, you were overworked and very stressed out, so your outburst is totally understood. I know you would have preferred it not to have happened at all, but I'm sure your psyche felt better afterwards.
A good cry is better than becoming depressed and taking one's life or that of others.
Catharsis is good for the soul.
Glad you're in a better place now.
Glad too that you were able to prepare and enjoy such lovely festive meals.
Take care of YOU!!
Louise, I've been on and off line with the office since then, and have mixed feelings about the appreciation. We'll see what happens when I go back on Monday.
Bob, I know the blog isn't the best place for venting this sort of thing, but I do get such very warm feedback! :)
Susan, Sounds like you know me very well :) I'm sure (at least I'm hopefull) that my bosses have gotten the message.
Chm, One of my NY's resolutions is to post regularly on my blog again in 2013. It gives me so much satisfaction and I receive more recognition from my blog friends than from my bosses :)
Carolyn, I had a good rest ... and the cards are still sitting on the table, unwritten. But I'm almost up to date on my office schedule. I still have three weeks to write the cards, and I've been told that it's fashionable to be late (lol).
Jean, That's the problem. Due to this awful new organization that was put in place on Oct. 1st, I nolonger have a back-up (which I used to have) and the job would probably not have been done ...
Gaynor, Thank you x. But I don't understand why we need to work harder with fewer people, when there are so many unemployed!!
Veronica, I have every intention of going back on Monday, because - although the most urgent part is done - there is still so much to do. I just hope they'll stop putting on more pressure ...
N&A, I think they've understood the message. My only concern is that they will soon forget!
Anne, I know you've recently been through a rough spot yourself and appreciate your concern x. I don't think that 'one tiny breakdown' of a little 'shrimp' like me, will make them change their strategies, though.
Nadege, An apology?! I don't think so ... but one can always dream. I don't think they roll out the red carpet when I return on Monday :)
Virginia, I have every intention of taking good care of myself, and have treated myself to a very expensive, yet extremely relaxing shower gel of white flowers ... I've never been to your lovely island, but I immediately associate the scent with that of tropical flowers ...
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