Candes Saint-Martin, my favourite spot in La Touraine.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

48 hours later and in trouble

I need got get this of my chest. So, instead of telling you the second part of our visit to the service flat last Friday ... I'm going to let you in on the outcome. An outcome that was straightforward yesterday afternoon, but which developped an hour ago into something - I wouldn't call it horrific - mindblowing.

OK, yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from the caretaker/janitor that my mother, who apparently was number 3 on the list had been 'outrun' by number 1, who had said 'YES' to the flat. Apparently number 2 hadn't shown up, nor had he/she informed him of their wish to take or not take the flat. Slightly disappointed but at the same time somewhat relieved, I brought the news to my mother, who had the same mixed feelings. She said it that she had been dreading the imminent move (January 2015) and that she was relieved to have more time to sort out things in her house. We both agreed that sometime next spring or summer would be better and that it left us some time to prepare things ... hoping that another flat would become available presently.

And then, about an hour ago ... my mobile phone rang. I looked at the number of the caller and it was that of the caretaker/janitor. I took a deep breath and with trembling hands answered the call. To make a long story short: number 1 had backed out and number 2 had manifested himself but wanted a 2 bedroom flat. So all of a sudden, my mother was on top of the list!!! The flat is hers if she wants it.

I didn't know how to react as I can't answer for her. She seemed so relieved yesterday that she had been granted more time to prepare her move ... whenever that would be. I don't know how to bring her the news and I can't even imagine how she will react.

Reason tells me to accept the offer and to convince (force?) my mother to take it. My heart aches though when I think of how relieved and happy she looked yesterday. We have till Thursday noon to decide. I think both my mother and I will have a sleepless night!

P.S. Thank you all for your kind comments and acrobatic body moves. Hope nobody got hurt in the process.

(more to come ... as soon as I know what the outcome is)


The Beaver said...


I don't know how much it would be an imposition financially but , if it is feasible, I would take it and then finalized her actual move in the spring ( at least give you mum some breathing time to prepare her move at her own pace).

However, should you feel that the turnover and availability won't be a problem in the near future, then you may wait for another opportunity and not be stuck financially..

It looks like she has some relatives in the same residence , thus she won't feel out of place ( hopefully , I may say, since it will be a big difference from being in your home and do as you please and being a resident in a complex)

Just hope that the end result will make both of you happy.

Ken Broadhurst said...

I think you should be positive and encourage your mother to make the move as soon as possible. She will be better off, and so will you. What is the point of postponing a move that, at her age, is in all likelihood inevitable? Rather than make it feel like a drama, just treat it as realistic and in the normal course of events. Change is always difficult, but better to facilitate than resist at this point.

GaynorB said...

I agree with Ken. You might wait a long time for another residence to become available in as convenient a position. Also Beaver makes a good point. Might it be possible to accept now and move in a the Spring.

Good luck with your deliberations. I can see there is such an emotional investment in this that making the decision will be very difficult for you both.

Susan said...

I think you will make yourself extremely unpopular if you accept the flat but no one moves in for months. There is bound to be someone on the list who is prepared to move in immediately and feel you are being selfish and unfair by leaving the flat empty. In all likelihood it is against the retirement home's rules to leave the flat empty too.

I agree with Ken. Take the flat, make it normal and matter of fact. And remember the golden rule of moving house -- if in doubt throw it out!

Bon courage !!

chm said...

I keep my fingers crossed for whatever decision you come up to with your mother. Hope everything is solved smoothly.

Carolyn said...

You both liked the apartment, right? She could take the apartment and start moving in slowly.

Probably the cleaning and repainting will take some time, so she wouldn't be starting her move for a while anyway.

If you are optimistic and excited about the new place and the move, she will pick up your feelings. She's lucky to have such a supportive, considerate daughter.

ladybird said...

To all! Thank you for your sympathy and sensible advice. You can't half imagine how much that means to me.

Let me put you out of your misery: We said yes to the flat and will be signing the lease on Friday, Dec. 5th.
Prepare yourself for several home decorating and moving posts! :)

Ken Broadhurst said...

Congratulations to you and your mother, Martine. I hope that your mother's long-term opinion will be the same as my mother's -- no regrets, and a better quality of life as a result. Bises...

ladybird said...

Thank you Ken! x

The Beaver said...

Thank you for the good news and enjoy all the planning and decorating.
This may help your Mum to look forward to her move and to make some new friends.

chm said...

Alea jacta est! With my best wishes for your mother and yourself.

Carolyn said...

Good! Best wishes for a smooth move. I hope she'll be very happy and comfortable in her new place.

VirginiaC said...

Oh my I hope your Mum reconsiders since it seems to be a sign that the flat is definitely for her....look at how the other two before her on the list have backed out.
Break the news gently to her and if she is adamant about not going now well then so be it, but I'm sure you know that all your Blogland friends like myself are worried about her living alone with her health issues.

VirginiaC said...

I just read the good news....yeah!!

ladybird said...

TB, Yes, it is good news, isn't it? Moreover, over the last 47 hours my mother has been getting used to the idea. She has even started preparing her move. She might get cold feet though when the date approaches :)

Chm, I think she will be fine ... right now even looking forward to it. We've been so lucky to get the flat now.

Carolyn, I have a feeling she will be very happy there.

Virginia, You are right. This flat was meant to be hers.

Jean said...

When Nick's mother moved to a similar kind of apartment she instantly changed.
Before, she was anxious, lonely and unhappy, living in the house that had been her home for many years but where she now found herself alone.
After she moved the relief she felt was tangible. She no longer worried about being in a house all by herself and she was much, much happier.
Persuading her to move and physically dealing with all her belongings was really hard work but in the end it was worth it. She settled in to her new home really well. Unfortunately her mental and physical condition deteriorated and this year she was moved to a care home, but we are all glad that she had enjoyed the time in her apartment - she was much happier than if she had stayed in her own house.
Moving is really difficult for and old person, but the longer you wait, the more difficult it can become - you never know what's round the corner.